Life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.

If you don't miss a few planes during the year you are spending too much time at airports.

Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything.

California is a fine place to live -- if you happen to be an orange.

If the law is on your side, pound on the law. If the facts are on your side, pound on the facts. If neither is on your side, pound on the table.

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands.

Professional wrestling is clean and everything else in the world is fixed.

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom.


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