Bernard Bailey

When they discover the center of the Universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.

Adam Phillips

The art of family life is to not take it personally.

One can resist the invasion of armies, but not the invasion of ideas.

I don't know jokes; I just watch the government and report the facts.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

Judity Viorst

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands -- and then eat just one of the pieces.

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