In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.

The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive -- you are leaking.

As a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A: Anyone can roast beef.

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