Actually, it only takes one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the 13th or the 14th.

C. P. Snow

Technology is a queer thing: It brings you great gifts with one hand and it stabs you in the back with the other.

Man does not live by words alone, despite the fact that sometimes he has to eat them.

There are more men than women in mental hospitals, which just goes to show who's driving who crazy.

Suspense is like a woman. The more left to the imagination, the more the excitement.

George Carlin

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Boys should abstain from all use of wine until after their 18th year, for it is wrong to add fire to fire.

You make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give.

You have the right to free speech -- except, of course, if you're dumb enough to actually try it.

Eleanor Roosevelt

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.


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